It seems rather fitting that I type this on the evening of Easter Sunday. There is something quite timely with the day we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord, Jesus, and a heart filled with hope for a healing reconciliation between the body of Christ and those who have been pushed to the fringe places.
Today is coming out day!
As I write this I am thinking about all the people who are sharing with their family member or close friends that they are not heterosexual. Who are facing their fears, pent up anxieties and quite possibly their worst imaginings that are and maybe aren’t actually happening.
I have come back to this draft a number of times over the course of today. And now Coming Out Day is over. But you know what? Sometimes a pause before hitting publish isn’t a bad thing. Because sometimes its better to wait and speak to a couple more people before you put it all out there for (potentially) the world to read.
Some time ago I wrote a post called Compassion. You might like to check it out as it relates very specifically to what I am about to say, and the questions I want you to spend some serious time thinking about. Obviously I do not need to hear your musings or answers, but if you want to share, then please feel free! So here goes..
I picked up my phone to get words off my heart onto the page.
They went something like this…
I cry tonight as the words weigh heavy. The words cut deep and leave me feeling as though I stand as one. All alone. With no others close and understanding my heart.
I picked up my phone and its message light flashed. I read and I smile. Oh there are others. Who understand and cry along with me. Who take the flack directed at ‘me’ and make it ‘ours’. It begins.
I don’t cry alone. The carers. The bleeding hearts. The names that people hurl as though they are some kind of insult. But they aren’t you know. They aren’t.
There are multitudes of people. So much like you. So much like me. Except they suffer far greater than we could possibly imagine. Our lives are peaceful in comparison. You and I. We have so much. So much stuff that seems meaningless. Unnecessary. Truly surplus to requirements. And yet it seems our default posture is to grab and snatch and hold on tight and strive for more… like the toddler who is still learning to share. Have we not learned yet? Will we ever?
Because tonight they cry out. Have we a space to share? Any my bleeding heart replies “YES”!
Today I was putting a pony tail in my young daughter’s hair. She is a beautiful little miss who is almost always very patient as you brush her hair and put in whatever decoration and design she has asked for. This morning was no different. As I brushed the inevitable dreads that form in her hair overnight we chatted. She is full of questions, like most 3 year olds, and its hard not to grin at some of the thoughts she shares. “Mummy can you make my hair sparkle?”, “Can you put a twist (aka plait, braid, or ponytail) in please?”, “Mummy is it almost finished?”, “Mummy I love it!” as she races off to look in the mirror. And she dances!
Simple moments of joy, and thankfulness can be found almost anywhere can’t they?
As I slowly brushed out the tangles of her hair I was struck with a very simple truth. Even though it may take more time than we prefer, the sorting out of the tangles in our lives will come as we allow God to do what is needed. That its in the patience and obedience of putting ourselves into God’s hands to do what is needed, that messy can become something worth dancing over..
Ive always loved to capture moments in time when I have felt God speaking to me. Sometimes it has been with words. Other times it has been with drawing. And then there are the times when I will pick up a camera and walk around with the intention to listen to Gods voice in creation. Up until recently I would only share the images with friends on facebook (as you do when a lot of your mates are the contemplative type)
Here in the south of this beautiful world we live in the days are getting shorter and darker. And when the sun is out, the wind is blowing and the air is cool …. Ah! Perfect! But it doesn’t seem to last for very long right now. Winter has hit! And its beautiful!
Is it a day that you feel every pain, ache, weary bone? Every tired mind? Every sorrowful heart? Every overwhelming emotion? And do you need a break? Crying out to God for peace and quiet? Here is a prayer for you… Continue reading “When all you know is weariness”
The majesty of God can be seen in both the huge, the expansive, and the small. Not one detail has been overlooked, not one living thing classified as insignificant, not one person turned away from…no matter what they have done, not done… Continue reading “Majestic!”
I have this ‘thing’ going on with the King of the universe. Its a love that all other loves seem to pale next too. And its a love that inspires me to care even more about this tragic and beautiful world we live in. With all its injustices, all the fears, pain, heartaches. With all of its splendor, awe inspiring landscapes, hearts that give and give and then give some more.